What If Pests Had Favorite Ice Cream Flavors?

What If Pests Had Favorite Ice Cream Flavors?

The summer sun is still shining bright in August, and that means we are finding every excuse to purchase some form of ice cream from our favorite shop. Whether it’s a double-scoop in a homemade waffle cone or a single scoop with sprinkles in a simple cup, ice cream is undoubtedly the quintessential summer treat. It’s also many people’s favorite dessert all year long, which leads us to ask the question: what if pests could enjoy this frozen treat just like us? Surely, they would have their own favorite flavor that they return to time and again. Let’s explore the possibilities of which common pests would enjoy the most popular ice cream flavors, and why these flavors directly tie in with their real-life preferences. 

Vanilla – Moths

Vanilla has grown beyond just being the original ice cream flavor. It is now a frequently-used adjective to describe anything that is boring or lackluster, such as an actor’s phoned-in performance in the latest blockbuster (you know the ones). That being said, vanilla ice cream is still a consistent favorite of the general populace. It is likely because of the classic taste that never gets old, which would greatly appeal to the common moth. These insects are the most discernible insects that flutter around our porch lights every night, and they are not the type of pest to break a habit. The main reason why moths are unable to resist any type of artificial light that contrasts the surrounding darkness is simply because they use their largest light source as a navigational tool. The obvious choice for this is the moon, since it is the largest night light ever and helps both people and animals maneuver through the night. However, since moths are so small, they get confused when they fly under a man-made light and therefore are led to believe that this is the light they should flutter around. Moths would similarly be loyal to vanilla ice cream, and would enjoy the simple delight of this safe flavor. As a bonus, this flavor has similar coloring to the moon, which could explain why moths would naturally gravitate towards vanilla.

Chocolate – Spiders

Spiders have been around for centuries, and their standard creepiness has not lessened with time. They like to live in places that are cool and dry, which is how they often end up in corners of rooms and the inside of idle boxes. Like many pests, spiders need to live near a reliable food source, so they like to be near an already-established insect problem. Just as spiders are a classic pest that everyone has experience with, chocolate is a standard flavor of ice cream that just about everyone has tried. Chocolate is very hit or miss, since you could have either a watered-down flavor or a rich chocolate explosion, depending on the brand you get. The different qualities of chocolate ice cream are comparable to the varying qualities of meals that spiders enjoy. These arachnids eat just about anything that is small and alive, so their next meal could be as tiny as an ant or as filling as a snail! Spiders would definitely enjoy the classic taste of a chocolate ice cream, and would be happy with any kind they can get. They might add some toffee bits if they’re craving that extra crunch that comes with their typical meals (shudder), but spiders are still simple creatures that would be content with any chocolate ice cream that comes their way. 

Neapolitan – Roaches

This classic combination of flavors is known to blow children’s minds the first time that they catch sight of the triple striped carton. The adult in charge of scooping the ice cream at the party usually assures the child that, yes, Neapolitan is indeed chocolate, vanilla, and strawberry. Many people often enjoy this flavor in stages by eating one stripe at a time, but some don’t mind the mayhem that comes with eating all three in one bite. The latter option would certainly be the preference of the most tumultuous pest around: the roach. These disgusting insects are essentially the garbage disposals of the pest world, as they will eat just about everything in sight. While roaches prefer foods that are organic and starchy, they will settle for anything that they find while foraging, including food crumbs, glue, and raw meat. If they had the option to enjoy something a bit more pleasant, like Neapolitan ice cream, roaches still wouldn’t take the time to intentionally separate each section. They would devour the whole thing by eating all three flavors at once, which would make quite a few people cringe. Roaches wouldn’t even be able to choose a favorite of the trio since they never eat it carefully enough to differentiate between the distinct flavors. 

Cookies and Cream – Termites

Termites are one of the most dreaded pests in existence, but not for the standard reasons of disease transmission and food contamination. Rather, it’s because they are possibly the most destructive common pests around. They devour any kind of natural wood with their sharp mandibles, intentionally carving tunnels throughout the wood for their massive colony to inhabit. The workers are responsible for crafting these tunnels, while the soldiers guard the entrances and the swarmers search for new homes when the colony inevitably grows too large for their original home. The disorderly way in which termites frantically scramble to maintain their tunnels is reminiscent of the controlled chaos of cookies and cream ice cream. This flavor is almost an oxymoron: it’s simple yet complex, straightforward yet mysterious, and addictive yet filling. The science behind the chocolate cookies soaking up the subtle vanilla flavor of the ice cream is still a puzzle for many. Termites would love this flavor because it is an enigma of an ice cream experience, and they would just enjoy the delectable taste of vanilla and chocolate together. But make no mistake: they would also enjoy this flavor in a similar way to how they create tunnels: constantly taking bites in a clean and polished manner. 

Mint Chip – Grasshoppers

Any kind of mint-flavored food is automatically polarizing. Some people insist that it always tastes like toothpaste, while others find it to be delicious and nothing like the minty punch-in-the-face that toothpaste delivers. Mint chip ice cream is likely one of the most popular flavors because it has the important inclusion of small chocolate bits, which makes any ice cream better by default (in our humble opinion). Grasshoppers are the first pest that comes to mind when we think of mint chip ice cream. It could be because this flavor is a classic that has been around for years and is well-known, even if some people don’t like it. Grasshoppers are a notorious plague-centric pest because they devour any kind of plant or crop that they find while they stay on the move to avoid predators. They can eat about 30% of their body weight a day, so it’s no wonder why farmers everywhere despise this critter! Besides that, there is another — and probably more obvious — reason why mint chip would be the favorite of grasshoppers. The term “grasshopper” has been applied to minty desserts for years, and grasshopper cookies specifically include both mint and chocolate. Since this combination is affiliated with their name, these insects would undoubtedly love this flavor regardless of what others think. The green hue of the ice cream would just be a fun bonus for them!

Cookie Dough – Silverfish

Silverfish are a strange pest, as they look like a crustacean-insect hybrid with many of the habits of an earwig or cockroach. These pests like to stay in the dark and remain close to any kind of food source, which is essentially anything heavy in carbs. Silverfish are known to chew holes in household objects that act as the only clear evidence of their presence, unless someone in the home actually spots one of these pests. Their favorite foods include cardboard, pantry staples, insulation, wallpaper, and book bindings. As tasty as these items sound — not — they do not compare to the wonderful taste of a high-quality cookie dough ice cream. The store-bought versions have nothing on the homemade flavor from an actual ice cream shop, as this type usually has larger pieces of cookie dough and a better taste to the actual ice cream. Silverfish would definitely enjoy this ice cream flavor the most, regardless of where it came from. They would like the simplicity of the flavor and the delightful combination of sweet vanilla with tasty cookie dough. However, the main reason why silverfish would love cookie dough ice cream is because they are scavengers by nature. They like to forage for food in our homes, so picking through their bowl of ice cream for the valuable pieces of cookie dough is a natural habit for them, much to the chagrin of their fellow ice cream-enjoying friends. 

Rocky Road – Mice

Rocky road is an interesting combination of ingredients that somehow taste like they were always meant to be together in the form of this ice cream. The simple chocolate ice cream with marshmallows and nuts is an underrated hit among the ice cream crowd, and continues to be a staple in most ice cream shops. Ice creams with pre-mixed additions are popular with people who always like toppings on their ice cream, and this kind of palate sounds just like our old rodent friend, the mouse. These rodents are scavengers who are always searching for food to feed their families and their own bottomless pits that they call stomachs. Mice will eat most foods and objects they find that do not seem to contain traces of rodent poison, and their favorites include fruits, grains, seeds, and nuts. Speaking of nuts, this ingredient would be their favorite in rocky road ice cream even though most people would rank it last. Mice naturally forage for their food in any space that they invade, and they would take it upon themselves to separate the nuts and marshmallows from the ice cream to eat separately. Mice eat many meals a day in reality, so they would have no problem devouring multiple bowls of rocky road, especially if it’s one of the brands that is guaranteed to have nuts and marshmallows in every bite. 

Cotton Candy – Ants

Ants are possibly the most infamous food-related pest ever, especially since it seems like everyone has at least one memorable experience with an army of ants. These eusocial insects spend their days scavenging for reliable food sources that will sustain their massive colonies, as well as efficiently leading their fellow workers to the same food source by leaving a trail of invisible pheromones. Ants like anything with plenty of sugar or protein because these components give them the most energy to continue building their nest and finding more food. If there is one ice cream flavor that is even more laden with sugar than usual, it has to be cotton candy. This flavor is usually a combination of the brightest blues and pinks possible, and many brands and shops perfectly capture the wispy-sweetness of actual cotton candy in their ice cream. No matter what other flavors are available, ants would choose cotton candy every time. They would add even more sugar by topping their scoop with multiple toppings, like rainbow sprinkles and candy-coated chocolates. Others may look down upon ants for ordering such a juvenile-looking ice cream, but the ants wouldn’t pay them any mind as they treat themselves to their favorite flavor of this wonderful dessert — and isn’t that what ice cream is all about?

Nothing is Sweeter Than Pointe’s Effective Treatments!

Although insects are generally more active in the summer — thanks to their ectothermic bodies and the hot temperatures — pests are undoubtedly a problem all year long. If they happen to find a way inside your home, they can cause all kinds of frustrations for the homeowners. Pests can contaminate food and surfaces, inflict structural damage, and transmit dangerous diseases to both humans and pets. That is why Pointe Pest Control is here to help! Our standard service contracts include quarterly scheduled services in order to efficiently tackle pest problems in every season. We also have the constant option for emergency treatments in between the scheduled services, in the event that pests decide to make a surprise appearance. Between our environmentally-friendly treatments and the thorough inspections of our highly-trained technicians, we guarantee that we will keep you pest-free. Just like how ice cream is an excellent treat all year long, our pest control services make every season much more bearable as a homeowner or business owner. Contact us for a free quote on our pest control services today!

Citations

Getts, T. & Schohr, T. (2022, May). Fact sheet: Grasshoppers. University of California Agriculture and Natural Resources. Available at https://ucanr.edu/sites/Rangelands/files/307842.pdf (Accessed on August 7, 2023).